


Enough

by Tshilaba



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-03-22 04:47:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3715591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tshilaba/pseuds/Tshilaba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The concept of comfort sex analyzed and deconstructed by Hanji Zoe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The first time she finds him is in the late fall of 843. Instead of her usual babble she comes to him with harsh bites and scratches, forcing him back against he wall of his private quarters, kissing him desperately.

"Hanji..." He gasps her name as he moves down to his neck, breaking the skin almost instantly. That will leave a mark he'll have to explain away. He tangles his fingers in her hair, tugging lightly.

She pulls back with an almost agitated sound to look into his eyes, and he sees it then. The pain and need, boiling just inside her, evident in the tears threatening to fall. She swallows hard and leans up a little to press her lips against his, a little gentler than her previous agressiveness, at least momentarily, as if she can't decide what she wants. To fuck senseless or to perform something that could pass for lovemaking. She settles for the middle ground, forcing him away from the wall and onto his bed, climbing on top of him and kissing him hungrily, her tongue all but forcing its way into his mouth as her normally nimble fingers fumble clumsily with his harness.

He pushes her back gently before reaching up and undoing the harness straps across her chest, unbuttoning her shirt and slipping it and her jacket off her shoulders. As they fall behind her, he runs a hand up her side gently, ghosting his fingertips over an old scar. He knows its origin, back on her first mission, her horse had tripped and a Titan sent her careening through the air, a barren tree limb splaying her side open just under the ribcage. He knows he shouldn't be, but he's grateful that she survived, even if it meant losing the horse. There's a sharp intake of breath above him and he glances up. "Sorry," he says quietly.

"Don't you  _dare_ apologize," she says, and there's a conflicting hardness to her soft response. She loosens the bindings from her breasts and lets the material fall to the bed. "Just remind me that I'm not alone," she mumbles, collapsing against his collar bones.

For a moment, he's unsure of what to do. She knows what she needs, and he's always let her take it before. She's his comrade, his  _friend_ ; it's the least he can do for her. However...this is different. She's never come to him like this before. If he's honest, he would say he believed her to be too devoted to her work, her research, her self-imposed duty to humanity for this. Not that he is naive enough to believe she doesn't need the release; everyone does in some way, he knows this. He just...always believed she dealt with it on her own.

Attachments are dangerous at any time. When one doesn't know the length of their life, this danger only increases. And yet, the fatal sin of all humans is their need for companionship. This is the mortal flaw of all scouts. And Zoe Hanji is no exception. He thinks, perhaps, she feels it more keenly than the average scout. She's refused countless promotions to squad leadeer over the years. She can't handle it, she says. And, Erwin thinks, he understands. Human error is inevitiable. But it is a painful thing to watch men under your command die following your orders.

Her whine drags him from his thoughts as she grinds her hips against his, pushing herself up onto her elbows slowly to look into his eyes. She looks like she wants to say something, needs it desperately, but is overthinking, as usual. Instead, she licks her lips and works them the rest of the way out of their uniforms, clothes scattering over the sides of the bed.

He's only half-hard, but for once she doesn't seem irritated at this impediment and wraps her hand firmly around his length. As she strokes it, though, and he idly recalls how her hand fits inside his, she seems uncertain. Which, he reasons, is only to be expected. Most of her research has been focused on the Titans and the healing and treatment side of the medical sciences. If she dabbled in any anatomy or biology, it was likely only her own. But...she learns fast. "D-damn...Hanji..." he groans quietly, and catches her signature smirk before she withdraws her hand.

"Hey, Erwin?" Her voice sounds distant as she squirms slightly, and she takes his hands and sets them on his hips before lifting herself up over his penis. "Are...are you ready?"

He can feel her muscles just beneath her skin as he runs his thumb over her hip bones, prompting her to whine shakily and place her hands on his stomach for extra support. "Are you?" he asks, noting how she looks up at him, her bangs falling in her face. There's that uncertainty floating in her eyes and Erwin half wonders if this is her first time in a way. That his hands on her hips are the only things keeping him from taking her virginity. Then she nods and he lets her slide down his length.

She moans as he fills her, letting her head fall back for a moment. It's tight, but it's a pleasurable tightness. It fills her better than her own fingers have. Warmer, too. She lets out a soft breath, shifting to adjust herself.  _Different._ That's the only word that comes to mind. Not bad, different. A difference she can definitely get used to.

He rubs his thumbs in small circles against her prominent hip bones as he wtches her adjust to his length, watching her pant softly as she shifts to get comfortable. He can feel her trembling slightly and looks up into her face. "Hanji..." He ventures softly.

"Mmph." The noise she makes in response is indiscernable. She looks back into his eyes and smiles softly before tightening her muscles around him, dragging a low moan from his lips.

His hips buck unconsciously, causing her to bounce slightly, to which she giggles softly.

"Oh, Erwin, do you enjoy that?" She leans down against his chest and kisses him, nipping lightly at his lower lip. She trails her hands down his chest before sitting up again.

A small part of Erwin's mind becomes aware, then, concludes that she was contradictory. If this continues past tonight, it will always be this way. A continual dance between soft and rough. And he can't say he's adverse to the the idea.

She moans softly and lifts herself up slowly before setting a steady pace. Her eyes close to the sensations and it makes her sense of  everything more intense. His soft breaths and groans of pleasure begin to crescendo. With a sigh she pulls off of him, letting his release splash against her stomach as she reaches between her legs to finish herself off. She lets herself collapse next to him on the mattress. Eyes still closed, she can hear him shift beside her, feel him begin to stroke her hair absently. Over the years, their relationship has taken on a sort of brother/sister dynamic, so she allows him this. It's nice, after all. And in the depths of her drifting mind she can't help but wonder if this is more enjoyable than the sex she just had with her friend...

They drift for a while, but, eventually, Hanji wakes up and begins gathering her clothes.

Erwin wakes up a few moments later to the sound of rustiling bed sheets and he opens his eyes to see her meticulously binding her breasts before pulling her shirt on. As she's buttoning it down, he speaks her name. "Zoe."

"Oh, you're awake." She doesn't turn around and continues buttoning her shirt. She does, however, turn when she rises to tuck her shirt in. She's quiet, her eyes on her hands as she adjusts her shirt and then buttons her pants. She begins to pull on the harness, only to shake her head and pull it off again, slinging it over her shoulder.

"Zoe," he says agian, more forcefully this time."

"I'm sorry."

"Pardon?"

"I shouldn't do that to you," she mumbles, eyes trained on her feet, boots thrown in some distant corner of the room. She almost looks...embarassed.

He sighs, before reaching out and taking her hand and squeezing it gently, causing her to squeak softly in surprise. "Don't ever be ashamed of needing comfort, Hanji. You can always come to me. Even if it's what we just did. Alright?"

She nods jerkily, but there'sa small smile on her face and her cheeks are tinted pink, so he feels safe to believe she understands.


	2. Chapter 2

She comes to him more often as the death toll rises. But then, there are times when she doesn't, times when he feels she should have at least needed to speak with him. And he can't deny he feels just a little jealous that she could have found something else to comfort her. He asks her once, as they lay basking in the afterglow and coming down from their high, her head resting on his chest as he runs his fingers through her hair. "Zoe?"

"Hmm?" She's sleepy and content, then. And rather reminiscent of a puppy as she leans slightly into his touch. He smiles at that. Even if she's found something to supplement her visits to him, it seems she still enjoys his touch.

"Where do you go when you don't come here?"

"Mike."

"Oh?"

"Mhmm." She nods before turning to nuzzle into his palm, silently asking for more touch, a request he happily fulfills, pulling her in for a gentle kiss. "We fool around, when he's not letting Nana ride him like her horse." There's a lilt to her voice that tells him the thought amuses her, and he can't help but wonder if perhaps maybe she had something to do with that arrangement. "Actually, sometimes, I'm with Nanaba, too," she laughs softly. She kisses him again, a soft thing it is, almost achingly so. "'M gonna stay here tonight, okay?"

"Of course," he replies, she's always welcome to stay, he's told her this, as she smiles and settles down next to him.

She's gone the next morning, but he can still smell her.

~*~

Hanji sighs tiredly. She can't believe Shadis partnered her with this shrimpy ass. _He honestly makes me think he's walking around with Mike's dick up his ass_ , she thinks. _Frankly, I think he's the reason I've been fingering myself so much..._

"The hell are you staring at, Shitty Glasses?"

She frowns. It's not as if her glasses are that dirty. She can see out of them. And when they get in her way, she can just shove them in her hair. "Watch it..."

"What are you gonna--"

She slams him to the floor, pinning his hands above his head and sitting on his hips. "Don't you  _dare_..."

"You're the one that attacked me, idiot."

She blinks. He's right, she realizes. He didn't even swing at her, and here she is, pinning him to the ground like she does her boys when she wants to ride them like her horse... "Sorry," she mutters, letting him up.

He props up one knee before leaning back on his palms, but makes no move to get up any more than that as he glares at her. "Why did Shadis put me with you?" he grumbles.

She can't help but laugh; it's like he can read her mind, and that both amuses her and pisses her off. "I've been wondering the same thing."

"Least I don't look like I'm holding in a shit."

"What is your fascination with feces?"

He shrugs.

They sit in silence for some time before she says, very quietly, "Come by my room tonight if you wanna talk."

He snorts, as if the very thought disgusts him. "I don't need to talk," he says.

And she smiles, because something tells her he's lying.

~*~

He shows up after dinner.

She's taken a bath, because her entire body hurts and she'd hoped the heat would help. It doesn't, she should have known, after all, this is the pain of pushing her body past its limit too many times to keep count, physically, emotionally, and mentally, and she lays sprawled out on her mattress in her night clothes. It's the only position she can find that doesn't aggravate her already protesting muscles, but it doesn't quiet them much at all, despite her best efforts. She groans when he knocks. "Nngh... Come in."

The door snaps shut behind him. "Don't tell me you're bleeding like a stuck pig."

"Shuuuuut uuuuup," she whines and kicks her feet, immediately regretting it when her legs throb again. "I hurt. Don't go there. I just finished on Tuesday."

"...do you spot?"

She frowns. "How the hell d'you know about that?"

He shrugs. "Some women do."

She sighs and pushes herself up, scooting closer to the headboard as she pats the mattress next to her. When he sits down, she tucks her feet underneath her ass, wincing slightly as her muscles protest. "I don't spot, usually," she mutters. "Haven't since I was a teenager. I'm just sore from the expedition."

"Aren't we all," he scoffs.

She laughs, but there's no mirth to it. "You're right there."

They sit, silent, as the minutes slip by. She lets her mind drift slowly, thinks about the other times she's pulled herself out of her own sphere to do this...to remind herself she's not alone, to remind them _they're_ not alone. How many times has it been now? It's been at least a year, she knows, But she can't seem to recall just when it became habit. When did she finally turn from burying herself into her work to seeking the warmth of another human body? And why was it always people she already considers friends? Finally, he breaks the silence. "Why did you invite me here?"

"To remind you you're only human."

Their eyes meet, and she swears that's the most expression she's seen since she met him on that day, the day that seems so long ago but she knows, she _knows_ , it's not nearly as long as she wishes it was. In a heartbeat he has her pinned to the mattress, hands gripping her wrists over her head, hips straddling her own. "What would _you_ know?" he snarls. "I don't need to be reminded."

 _You do_ , she thinks, not wavering under his glare. Their hair trigger tempers are proof. They _need_ this. Now more than ever. She rolls her hips up into his, noting the way he bites back a groan. "Then have a warm body to fuck."

He growls and pulls away, but she grabs his wrist.

"Let me remind you you're still alive," she says softly. She doesn't think she's ever been this tender with any her friends, but maybe that's because they _are_ her friends. And this shorty is some punk who just got the reality of war dumped on him. She can feel him tense, clenching and unclenching his fist, but...he never pulls away. She tugs his wrist once and he looks at her. She takes the initiative and shoves him back onto the be, straddling him this time. She begins unbuttoning his shirt until he catches her hands in his. She pauses to look up at him.

His expression is unreadable for a moment. But then he says very simply: "Safe word."

"What?" she chuckles. "Are you scared you'll break me?"

"Safe word," he repeats, more firmly this time.

She smirks. This will be enjoyable.


End file.
